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I'm in Atmore raising a 3-month-old baby alone. The father is really an awful person. An example of his character: He left us on my first Mother's Day. Wow!! Now I'm wondering if there is anything other than child support that I can "get out of him" because he is being such a stubborn a**. We were never married so I can't ask for spousal support. I want to hand him over to the state so they can tear him a new one and show him who is boss, and perhaps show him that a man needs to be a man and take care of his responsibilities. I just don't know what to ask for from the state. What kinds of stuff is there out there? He signed the paternity papers and he is the father so what can I do? Anybody?
I'm not saying I want to go out and waste the state's resources. I'm not saying I want to get every penny from him. I'm just wondering if there are any grants or places to sign up so I can actually afford to pay my rent while my child is still so young. I don't want to sleep under a bridge but I want to be there when he takes his first steps!!!
Well, the honor system doesnt work, thats been proven. thats also why the state/federal government passed stronger child support laws; they are TIRED of people not paying for their children. DO NOT let anyone here make you feel guilty for needing help raising the child or wanting child support. he helped create the child as well, but dont expect him to be something he's not. he's either a good father, or not. there are 2 kinds of parents: 1--those who love and take interest in their childrens lives 2--those who view their children as a burden/chore. the least he CAN do is pay support. in anycase, if you want it quick and easy... apply for welfare. they will do ALL of the paperwork and have the child support coming in faster then if you did it yourself. once you start getting the child support, you will go off welfare (for you will no longer qualify for the cash help) and your child support will continue. welfare will go after him worse then the IRS to get their funds back (the cash amount they give to support his child), as it should be. just do what they tell you to, get the help you can and dont feel bad about it; its simply what you must do right now so that you DONT end up living under a bridge... thats why welfare was created (to prevent such things), and thats why child support is so enforced, so that you dont end up on state assistance again. just do it. one more thing, every state is slightly different with child support guidelines.... so, learn your states laws. LEARN THEM ALL. its your best armor. DEADBEATS INTERSTATE CASES LONG ARM ACT (UIFSA) for INTERSTATE CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR YOUR STATES CS POLICY ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS) NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN And "RATIONAL LIES" FREE LEGAL HELP Atmore YOUR STATE (just click on your state to find contact info) LAWS and INFO (change the state to yours) STATS FINDING DEADBEATS (and background cks to find them) FED AGENCIES REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO SSI AND DISABILITY FOR CHILD SUPPORT FIND YOUR REPS CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK (some states work with them) COLLECTORS TAX INFO REPORT DEADBEATS (AND EMPLOYERS) WORKING UNDER THE TABLE (in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices) REPORT A DEADBEAT USING OTHERS SS# TO AVOID CHILD SUPPORT or FILING TAXES WITH OTHERS SS# SEX OFFENDERS
You can only get child support. The state will not help you screw this man over, or "tear him a new one", no matter what he did. The state of California will do a paternity test, even if he is on the birth certificate, since you were never married. They will also set up visitation for him, as the father. If he lives in a different state, or even a different part of the state, you may have to pay part of the cost of his visitation, (plane fare, gas, etc.). I'm not trying to sound like a b*tch here, I'm only pointing out the facts. My former husband moved out of state and demanded that I pay for half of the airfare when my son visits. The court agreed, as it usually does in cases where the father takes an interest. I now have to pay for half of my sons airfare to go see his father twice a year, and it's expensive. This most recent trip set me back almost $700, and I have to do it again at Christmas. Also, I don't receive child support anymore because my former husband quit his job to "help with the family business". There are all sorts of tricks they can use to get out of paying child support. And keep in mind that unless he is several years behind in payments, no one enforces it. The DA will "investigate" the matter, but it's almost impossible to make someone pay child support if they don't want to. You may never get a dime out of this guy, especially since it appears that he doesn't want to be part of this childs life. Something else you need to keep in mind, especially in a state as liberal as California. There is a growing concern of fathers who didn't want to be fathers, meaning the mother chose not to abort the child. The idea is that the woman had the right to choose, but the man did not. There have already been several cases in the Bay Area where the court did not grant child support because the man didn't choose to be a father, that the woman "entrapped" the man by not having an abortion. So don't be surprised if the court awards you very little in the way of child support if you are in the Bay Area.
Rarely does a relationship end well. But your hostility and vendictive attitude not only makes this situation worse, but you're making the rest of us look bad- perpetuating the negative stereotypes of single mothers. You can request child support and you can request the man pay for health insurance, but you cannot make him pay. You can set up visitation, but you cannot make him visit. It also sounds like you're asking if you can get Aide. If you won't work, of course there are programs to help you pay rent and put food on your table. But there's also a little thing called a job, which will allow you to support your child, and even obtain support from the father, without using the state's resources and tax payer's money. Oh, and if he signed the birth certificate in CA, no he doesn't have to take a paternity test. My ex never took any such test - he confirmed his paternity by signing on the dotted line.
This is the exact reason why there is a problem with the whole system. Some people just talk about the responsibility of parents as financial and look at the system to "get back" at someone. I am sure there was responsibility on both your parts before you had a kid.
More than anything you need some therapy. Let it go. No, legally, you can't go through finding everything you can "get" from him. As the father, he needs to pay child support, and he legally has visitation rights if he wants to use them. Being a stubborn a** is not illegal. Please don't waste the state's resources by trying to involve them in your broken relationship.
Wait until the baby is born (unless it already is here) and take him to court. They will do a court ordered DNA test, and order child support based on his income and/or ability to recieve income. Nothing to it. You won't be the one asking, the court will be demanding! Sadly for men, once we decide to have our babies, they're screwed for life. One more reason men should take more responsibility for birth control.
If you love your child and you have them that should be enough. Its wrong to just try and screw someone over even if you think you have a right you dont. He has no responsiblity to you only the child so no you can not get anything else. Being a a** as you put it does not give anyone the legal right to screw you over and be one in return. If you need the child support get it but dont go and sink to is level.
Listen if all you want is money your wrong take him to court to mandate him to spend time with the child and he will grow to love him