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OK so here goes. I'm not sure if I can get it out in one of these 1000 character blocks, but I'll type as much as I can. Don't mean to be an attention whore with the big letters,but I figure some people will read this. I need as many answers as possible. I started college at St Johns University back in Fall of '04. Got a 2.58 GPA for the fall, met a girl, fell in love with a girl...then got into the worst relationship/period of my life. My GPA for the spring was 0.97. I was told by my parents to transfer out and go to York College for the fall of '05. I did Decatur there, with a 3.2, 3.1, then wanted to leave for Stony Brook University. I am normally a positive person, but I hated it at York, the atmosphere/professors/administration/hos... of students and basically it was run like a high school. I didnt get into SBU, and then decided to stop trying so hard, as it wasn't worth it. Wrong, yes I know. I amassed a total of 44 credits since then with dropping/failure of so many classes.
I basically "just got by" with 2.0s and 2.1s, then I really did bad for 2 semesters straight and was academically dismissed. My overall GPA was 1.62. That was in the Summer of 07, when I should be getting ready to graduate. I wrote a passionate letter and they accepted me back in there, on probation. In the Fall 07 semester I got back on track with a 3.0, and now I'm taking the full 18 credits working towards getting to a 3.0 by the time I graduate. The thing is, Ive always wanted to go back to St. Johns. Its $21,000 a year. My parents have the money, but they wont pay for it or cosign a loan. I really miss it there,loved the education, miss my friends, as well as memories. I dont have any money whatsoever to pay for tuition.I lost 15 credits out of the 30 I took there. Im still angry at them, because if I wouldve stayed at St. Johns I would be graduating on schedule in May of 2008. Now I'm just past the halfway point with 64 credits if all goes well by that time.
Its still bothering me, that I want to go back so badly, and get the entire college experience, as opposed to graduating from some rinky dink college such as CUNY York. Ive gone from one of the best universities to the bottom level really irks me. I try not to think about it, but it still bothers the hell out of me, and I get mad everytime. My career goal is to teach math at a grade 7-12 level. Im embarassed and ashamed, because I'm supposed to be graduating with my friends, instead I'm still stuck at school. Im pretty sure for a job interview/process, someone who went to a prestigious school would get preference over someone who went to a crappy college like I did. I'd graduate and start make my career there. I do have a girlfriend of 2 years that I love very much, who's graduating this year, but she keeps telling me to look forward and to get my degree and find a job. I feel as though Ive blown my entire college career, and basically f*cked everything up for myself.
I was actually contemplating on what to do. Part of me says to go away somewhere far away like FL, take whatever credits I've earned, and start somewhere fresh, go to a really good, prestigious University like USF or Florida State, I'd get the financial aid over there, finish my BS, get my Decatur part time and be a teacher there.I dont want to leave her, but I feel I must do this for myself and my education,which is more important than a relationship. Part of me says to stay and finish at the crappy college, then get into a good college for my MS, stick with this girl, and continue our lives together. I do work part time for an investment bank in Manhattan with a $15 an hour/24 hr a week job.I have some meager savings, and have a car that I'm leasing. I havent really spoken with anyone about this because of the above said confused/ashamed/angry/embarassed feeling. So yes. I am torn between starting over and doing college right, or just keep it going and limp into the endzone.
There's nothing to be ashamed about. Most people I know didn't do well during undergrad. There is always a way to move forward. It just depends on what you want to do with your life. Rather than spending your time regretting about the past, why don't you figure out what career you want to get into and figure out what you need to do to get there.
No i've got no longer with the aid of fact i'm a woman, and my husband hasn't the two. would desire to you think of strolling into the emergency room with a painful erection that isn't bypass away? How embarrassed could you be sitting there with all the different human beings!
Slow it down. Whatever you do, don't make any decisions when you're angry. Try finding time for yourself alone and focus and plan what you think you have to do. Life is not a game of luck.