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Cheating wife Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." "Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..." "Three? Well, when were they?" he asked. "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?" "Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?" "Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how the doctor came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?" "I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thingfor me, to save my l ife. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?" "Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"
Three women are out shopping at an antique shop. They stumble upon an unusual lamp. A voice heard from a genie within the lamp begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now one of the women just doesn't believe it, and says: "Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." Suddenly, the woman starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analysing it with extreme insight. The second woman is so amazed she says to the genie : "Triple my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." The woman starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc. The last woman is so enthralled with the changes in her friends, that she says to the genie: "Quintiple my I.Q."
The genie looks at her and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider." The woman says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free." "Please," says the genie "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the genie said, the woman insisted on having her I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power. So the genie sighed and said: "Done." And she became a man
Not so fast on the getaway! 14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out 14) You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA. 13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man. 12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere." 11) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points. 10) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again." 9) Your cyber-lover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List. 8) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by. 7) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms. 6) You can barely make out your S. L.'s face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats. 5) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company. 4) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fastfirstname.lastname@example.org has become cold and distant. 3) She's suddenly changed her address to email@example.com 2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious firstname.lastname@example.org 1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.
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Liked the first one...the other in additional details was good too but it shouuld have been flipped around to be more realistic. you know, 3 men instead.And the mab should have changed into a woman.MUCH more realistic. LOL.
The first part was funny but the second part was a little backwards...correction it was totally backwards
Ha ha! Now THAT was funny.
I think you're confused on the last one...