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Ok Im almost 19 and I still live at home with my mom. My life is so controlled and monitored I cant take it anymore. My mom treats me like Im 12 and Im freaking grown. I went out with my big sister and her kids. When I got home tonight around 9 p.m she cussed me out saying " were was I at" " Why didnt you call me and tell me where you was" . I thought she knew since she wasn't blowing up my phone! I got yelled at for hanging out with my nieces and nephews so unfair. She doesent want me to do anything. Then when I stay at home she says stuff like " you should go out" you never have fun, go have fun your missing out" I don't hardly go out because she will harrass me all night. She will call if Im out to late or tell me were I cant go etc. My life is becoming miserable I cant take this I'm not allowed to do sh%t. I don't date much either because she want let me hang out with boys. This summer I had a boyfriend she didnt want me to go over his house ( he lived about 5 mins away) We never did anything we were just hanging out and watching movies. I would go over there about every other day. She would call around 9: 00 or 9:00p.m with a attitude and yelling at me like " when are you coming home!?" How long you plan on staying over there?" " You need to come home now!" I don't understand why she would call me complaining about staying out "late" (9:00-9:30) wtf I'm grown I shouldnt have to go through this!!! My mom doesen't let me do alot of stuff she literally treats me like I'm 12. I can't drive during rush hour traffic she doesen't allow me to drive during certain hours of the day. wtf!!! These rules are out of control. The traffic isn't that bad I live in the midwest in a small city. The traffic isn't like New York or anything. But it does gets busy certain hours of the day. Anyway, I should still be allowed to drive I have to get to places. I have a job I want to move out but I don't make alot of money. I'm a college student I spend my money on books, tuition, gas getting to school. I really wish I could move out. I dont have no where else I can stay ( family) I have sisters but I cant live with them no room they have boyfriends, kids ). What should I do? If I ask for freedom it will make it worse and lead into a argument. All my purchases are monitored. I can't buy anything my mom doesent approve of. I had to share a bank account with her so I basically I have to beg her for money. My aunt sent me a 1,000 dollars to help me out in school and other stuff. I asked her for 200 of the 1,000 she started going off and asking what for. After literally begging her for MY MONEY she agreed to LOAN it to me. So now I have to pay her back $200 which will be a majority of my part-time paycheck. UGHHH. I went and got my own bank account since I'm 18 but I still have money in my mom's account. Even though I went and got a separate account I still have problems when it comes to spending my money. If I buy something she doesen't like she complains and fusses about how I should save etc. My phone is also monitored too. I've been having this line since I was 15 so I wasn't old enough to get my own line so I my older brother signed a contract and we got phones. He checks my phone records because the phone bill comes in his name. Im just screwed. He want split the phone line so I can have my own contract and seperate the bill. I dont have any credit so I cant just get my own line I have t-mobile. Oh and can't work late hours at work. Wtf . Once again I'm grown. She explained when I got the job I have now ' Not to accept any late hours" and " How I couldn't work late hours" Total bullshit. I feel I have the right to work any hours I choose. I prefer working evenings because I go to school in the daytime. The job I had before she made me quit. Because I was working 3-11p.m sometimes 2- 1 a.m. I liked my job and I chose those hours because I was going to school full-time. I can't work nights because she will make me quit. What do I do? I need advice? I love my mom but I can't take this any longer. its never going to end. I cant move out right now either. Thanks for reading.
Your mom has mental control over you. You've been brainwashed to believe that you "can't" do a lot of things. You need to find inner strength to take control of your life. It won't get better if you wait, it will get worse. First, use your own bank account ONLY. When your mother criticizes and complains, give her simple answers such as, "I'm using my account now." You may have to forget about the money you have in your joint account. Understand that you don't have to reply to everything she says. Refuse to explain your purchases. I know she'll put tremendous pressure on you when you begin to change, but the only way out is for you to stick to your guns. She'll be confused and unhappy while you change your life for the better, which means she'll get worse for a while. Be prepared for that, but be strong. This might be the hardest work you'll ever do, but you must do it. Did you sign anything promising to pay your mother for YOUR OWN money she "lent" to you? If not then you don't have to repay it. You could even let your aunt know what happened to her gift. Can you live with your aunt? Work the hours you want to work, and drive when you need to drive. She can't "make" you quit your job, although she can pressure you into wanting to quit. Ask *everybody* you know about a place to live. Ask about jobs where you live in someone's home and keep house and/or care for their children, etc. Check your student union for such jobs. Ask your friends if their parents can rent you a room. Explain your situation to close friends and ask them to keep you mind in they hear of places to live. Do as much as you can on your own, even if it means having to listen to your mother act like a shrew. Your mother has some mental problems. But you have to get out before you end up with major mental problems, too. Once you start living a fully adult life, you'll feel a little nervous at first, a little uneasy and you may wonder if it's the right thing to do. But that's just a phase. Keep working on having a good life and you'll feel better and better. I wish you lots of luck because you have so much work ahead. But if you can survive your home life, you can survive the journey to independence, and it will be all the more precious to you because of what you went through to get it.
Do you have little interest in things other than porn and eating? If you do at all, try doing those things, like if you enjoy nature, go out for walks. It'd be easy if a behavior meant something about your psyche and it could easily be fixed, but that's not the case. The brain's too complicated, and as much as I'd like to give you suggestions, I believe the only way for you to figure out your behaviors and get back on track is through talking to a psychologist (doesn't provide treatment but does build a thorough history to explain your behaviors) or a psychiatrist (who will discuss with you and prescribe treatment). You want to be happy again and achieve your dreams, so you still have that ambition. Maybe it is depression in the way; wish I could say and be of more help, but the only person who has the knowledge and experience to is a doctor. People fall into slumps and it's especially hard without many people to share your experience with, but please speak to a doctor. I hope I don't sound like a parent; I've seen two friends deal with a combo of depression, anxiety, and ADD and it's been extremely difficult, and at times I wanted to leave them so I wouldn't have to feel pain. At times they are better, and at times they seem to be where they started again, but pieces are getting put back together. I hope you find someone who can help you do that. Good luck!
Well if your 19 you can get your own phone. Go with cricket or boost, they dont do contracts and will hook you up for like 50 bucks a month. As far as your mom is concerned when I was younger I had a similiar mom, and a friend once told me "she won't kill you", so from then on I did what I wanted, mom cried and complained and tried to control my life and I did what I wanted. After I joined the military, I didn't talk to her for almost a year, now she's very nice and doesnt try to control anything.
That must have been a rough life growing up being a drone... girlfriend has same problem... but she is only 17.. Your 19 women... move out... live with a friend. In your car if its that bad.. you know. dont live there no more... If you want a relationship with her just call her or txt or stop by occasionally. Parents that are controlling, their children WILL rebel in the end, and end up dead, in jail, or going down the wrooooooooooong path. keep strong women.
Try to get in the dorms. Or ask your friends in class about maybe renting a house/apartment together. If that doesn't work, you need to tell your mother ahead of time when you go out and when you'll be late getting home.
Tell your aunt about the money your mother is keeping from you, for one - that's not right. You're aunt intended to give it to YOU, not her sister. Give up your cell phone, and save up for your own. Your mom has mental issues and she's also mentally controlling you. You CAN move out, you CAN work late hours and you CAN buy what you please. Don't let her tell you otherwise.
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I will have to be real with you.... There are rarely legitimate lenders that specializes in helping people with poor credit... You will need a co-signer who has good credit to help you at least to get approved.. Now these days you have to have good to excellent credit to be approved for a loan...