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I been to clubs a few times. it's been a long time ago though. this one time i went with my cousins girlfriends and i wouldn't be by them the WHOLE entire time and these would be interested in dancing with me. do u think girls NOTICE if a guy comes alone? i mean you go your seperate ways if you go with a friend and it's not like people are there to meet people. just dance. well that's my experience. i'm turning 23 in the summer and i haven't even been on a date. i never had a gf. i know it's sad. i really regret being shy in hs because now i'm stuck being alone. i see couples who met in hs or whatever and it reminds of the emptiness of my life. it's not just about having a relationship but having no friends either. i go to a jr college and if U been to one people don't really concentrate on making friends and their isn't much time. it isn't like hs @ all. i think when people talk about the social LIFE in college being off the top i think there referring to people who DORM in a university. i don't even know if i will get a LOAN approved bec. i got debts to pay. i tried joining activities and i haven't made a friend or have anyone to hang out with! it gets real OLD. * 28 minutes ago * - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 27 minutes ago i been applying to jobs and still nothing. i joined a organization and the conversations get AWKWARD and i ask questions but people seem disinterested. idk the conversation just gets awkward and they wander off somewhere. nothing is CLICKING do any FEMALES go alone??
Conversations can get awkard if their is no chemistry. well i joined activities and it hasn't turned out anything good for me so how can a club be any worse? people dont' go to club for sex they go to dance. that's wha ti'm going to do. when i went to clubs. i have just danced with girls and t ha tws it. we didn't talk or anything.
Your question struck a cord with me b/c I used to be you brother. More than you know. Until I was 21 years old. I don't really know how to teach you exactly what I know, so I've provided a link below. Reading your question, I noticed a few things 1. You feel bad about yourself. I noticed how you said that it was sad that you haven't been on a date. Maybe it's something you've wanted to do for a while, but it's not sad. More guys than you could ever guess are in your situation. I didn't know that for years though. 2. You are shy and don't really value or accept yourself for who and what you are. I picked this up b/c you are asking if it's acceptable to go to a night club solo. Plus, you also included that you are shy. Truth is, some girls will think that you are a guy with no social network (clique) when in the club alone. For some, this spells "weird guy" and for others it spells "normal guy". That all depends on the girl. But, more importantly, you should not worry so much about what all of these girls think of you. You just want companionship and getting that isn't tough. If you do nothing in the next 6 hours, do this: Write your best attributes. The ones that YOU are most proud of. Are you good at science? Do you do a great George Bush impression? Do you know more about sports than anyone? Are you a down to earth guy? What ever characteristics that you have that you like about yourself, write them down so you can see them on paper. Next, practice feeling good about the guy you see on the paper. Truth is, you're not a guy in JR college who's never been on a date, you are about 100 other things and more. You are just a guy who's insecure about his social life. I want you to see yourself as who you are, NOT WHO YOU THINK YOU'VE FAILED TO BE! When you do meet a girl, there is a lot you can offer. I already know that you don't have any prior baggage from other relationships (which is good). I also know that you are not arrogant from reading your question. I bet there is all kinds of great stuff you can offer a girl or any friend for that matter. What I'm saying is to practice letting go of the past. A long time ago, people made guys like you and I feel worthless. We had been made to feel as though we must hide from the world as though we were not normal. You and I are just a valuable as every living soul. We must see that. We must step out of our past and into our real lives. You may not be a million things and you must let go of that stuff and accept what we are. We must value what we are because we really are great. But, what good is being great if you don't know it? Forget everything every *** has ever said to you and when you think you are worthless, remember that that's not you anymore. You are everything on the paper. Next, before you ever enter a night club, look around yourself tomorrow in class. I bet you'll see girls everywhere. You should approach them. But here's the thing. Don't approach them for a date. Approach them to flirt and joke around. Make them smile maybe. Maybe improve someone else's day for a moment. Above all, approach them to have fun talking with the them. You don't have to be a comedian to make people laugh, and you don't have to be special to talk to anyone. If you think of something kind of funny, share it. Or maybe say something interesting, or just talk about the fact that it's cold today. Do this often and do it for PRACTICE. My point is, don't talk to women with expectations in your mind about what may come b/c that's unnecessary pressure. Rather have fun talking. You may not have a GF for another 6 months or a year, BUT HEAR Notasulga LOUD AND CLEAR! YOU WILL HAVE FUN Notasulga YOUR LIFE EVERYDAY STARTING TODAY! So have fun talking b/c it's your right. Lastly, when I was 21, I ended up meeting a girl who was having a hard time on the dating scene herself (Even though she was gorgeous). I met her because I had built up a habit of approaching people for practice and for the fun of it. Turns out, she was looking for a nice shy guy like me who would not take advantage of her. Who would appreciate her. There are millions of those girls out there in your predicament. But you'll never be there to rescue them from this situation unless you save yourself first. You aren't looking for some stuck up chic. You are looking for a nice girl. That means, you don't care about the rejections or things that don't work out. All you care about are the things that are fun. The good girls. So don't get caught up in who didn't like you but rather who did. The only way you'll find that out is approaching girls everywhere all of the time like all of the other single guys out there. Oh, and feel free to go to the club by yourself, but you may want practice dealing with girls, so practice everywhere else too. EDIT: I happen to believe the club is a great place to practice meeting girls and contrary to what girls may say, the club is a great place to meet girls even for companionship. More importantly though, just practice approaching girls. Think of it like a video game. Do you just play it once and if you die the first time you give up? No you play again and again. Same with girls, just approach them to HAVE FUN FLIRTING. No pressure, just fun. EDIT: I understand that at JR college, people don't form tightly nit bonds the way they do at a 4 year University with dorms. I get that totally. I'm in grad school and most of my class mates don't hang out at each others apartments either. What you aren't getting is that you don't have to follow the norms of your environment. You're afraid that if you talk to someone about stuff that has nothing to do with school, you'll look weird or something. LET GO OF THAT MAN! If you are in class where no one raises their hand, that doesn't mean that there is a rule against taking initiative and raising your hand. If you have a question, than be brave and confident and raise your hand and ask it. Same goes for meeting people. Just b/c no one seems interested in getting to know anyone else doesn't mean you must seem disinterested too. Just go up to people and talk to them and once you start to form a rapport with someone, see if they want to get together and study and when you study, talk about other things too, like whether they go to night clubs or have similar hobbies as you. Then see if they want to hangout with you outside of class if you guys are doing the same thing one weekend. Thing is, when you do it, don't approach people with all of this in mind, just approach them for the FUN of talking and joking around and what ever happens happens. If rapport is built, then take the opportunity to hang out some more. Don't worry about the people that don't want to hang out, just approach more people. The point about approaching people is that girls like guys who are alpha males. The guys that take charge and take the lead. They don't get as excited about guys who timidly follow everyone else. They like it when guys take initiative b/c they read this as CONFIDENCE. Thus, you should not come off as though you are worried about how you look when approaching anyone. You must feel self assured that you ARE FINE in every sense of the word. If you know you are fine, than you can approach anyone anywhere with confidence. It doesn't matter to you if you are the only one doing the approaching or if you are getting rejected. This is YOUR PREROGATIVE as a confident man who believes in himself. Once you know this, you can go into any night club, or class, or coffee shop, or park and approach anyone and no matter what happens, you will feel great about yourself. It's all about YOUR GOALS, not how you look to who ever you have approached.
I am not sure why you want to entertain her or what this is all about or how you see your relationship with her being like. But I will try to hit a few angles. First of all are you thinking about maybe she should be trying to have a good time with you too? Think about that. Now, let me tell you this about me when it comes to men. If it is someone that I am serious about, and he could be a love interest, I probably wont have much small talk with him. There is no point. Men don't do that for me and I wont even attempt to talk their ear off. If I need to talk about random stuff, I will get together with a few girlfriends. For me, getting to know a man has to do with some compatibility, respect for each others values, and seeing how much he is willing to do for me. Maybe if you want to find out about her and converse over the things that are important to the two of you, then what is important to you, how do you stay connected to it, how does it make you feel? Talk about that. As far as entertainment, maybe you should have a few friends come over so you aren't staring at each other all night trying to have a good time.
I think most girls go in packs, sorry, but you can like impress her or fail horribly by getting out there and asking a girl to dance, you got nothing to lose so you might as well take a risk right ?
Hmm... why are the convos getting awkward? i would try being nice and asking people questions about themselves , about things they want to talk about...i would join a gym and try to make some friends there, even just people to work out with... the club thing- i dont think i would notice, unless the dude was pulling out some lame *** lines or being wierd. you just have to be nice and normal. dont try to pull out some strange ideas or lines, ask regular questions and dont get all touchy or pushy. i dont think clubs are the best places to meet people, unless you are looking for sex tho.