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I am providing one-hour open bar in between the cermony and reception. And then during the reception, the server will pour a red wine for one course, and white wine for another course, and champagne for the toast. And if the guests ask for a refill for the wine, the wedding venue will do it (at no cost to my guests). Here's my question: 1. I am providing one hour of open bar for the cocktail hour, and cash bar for the reception (4 hours). But I negotiated a package where wine (white/red) will be unlimited as long as the guests ask the server for it. Champagne and non-alcoholic beverages are also included. How do I tell my guests (without being tacky) that they can ask for free refills of the wines? (as long as they ask server at the table, it's free. But if they get it at the bar, they will have to pay) I was thinking about annoucing in small print in my menu card, but I don't know how to say it without being tacky. Any ideas? 2. Is it Ramer if I don't have a open bar for the reception? Wine is pretty much included (as stated above), but guests will have to pay for cocktails and hard liquor. 3. My parents' friends (mostly asian) DO NOT drink at all, so I don't want to pay for the open bar just for a few of my friends who drink. I am paying for the entire wedding myself (and my fiance), and we have upgraded the food. Do you think people will still be upset?
Put up a little card at each table that says: "Complimentary wine served at the table. Mixed cocktails and wine served for $xx at the bar." or: "Complimentary wine served at the table. Mixed cocktails served for $xx. Please order mixed cocktails at the bar." Yes, it's Ramer not to have an open bar at the reception. I have been to weddings that didn't serve free drinks at all. Weddings are very expensive and it's perfectly reasonable not to have an open bar for mixed drinks. ***********EDIT******************* Oh and for the record, I disagree with the people that suggest a limited bar. What if someone really wants a mai tai or a pina colada or something? They should be able to buy it if they want to. It would be odd to have the bartender say, "Um sorry. We're not allowed to serve you that, because we're only authorized to use one bottle of vodka and we've used it up." I think the arrangement you made is just perfect - open bar for an hour, free wine and champagne at the tables and a paid bar for anyone who wants mixed drinks. Who could complain about that?
Please talk to your parents and your friends and ask their opinions rather than asking a bunch of strangers who couldn't pick you out of a line-up of one! The reason I say this is because it's not set in stone that a cash bar is ok or is rude. It depends on where you live, what your socioeconomic status is, as well as a whole bunch of other things that we can't even begin to guess at. For example, you'll notice that most of the answers here say that it's the rudest thing since, like, forever. Well, where I come from it's perfectly acceptable to have a cash bar. In fact, it's normal and expected that weddings have a cash bar to the point that even if the guests aren't told "Cash bar only", they will still make sure that they have some cash on them. Some weddings do provide wine and champagne, some provide more and some provide less but a full open bar is rare. And in my entire life I've only attended two weddings that had a full open bar and both weddings had problems with drunken behaviour. Personally, I don't think that cash bars are rude, I think that people who expect full open bars are far ruder. They're guests and should be gracious to receive whatever it is that they receive and shouldn't expect more. They're already receiving food and entertainment and they were given the honour of witnessing the couple's union, that should be enough. And having to pay for a drink or two won't break anyone's budget half as much as a full open bar can break a budget! So I suggest that you sit down with your fiance and with your parents if they're paying and discuss this. And remember that you don't just have to have a full cash or full open bar, you can provide a few things and let the guests buy whatever else they want.
1. Maybe have the serving staff tell them that if they ask then for the wine, it is free. And ask the bartender to do the same. Maybe you can have the bar tended take wine off the list of prices. (Although, if they want a different wine that last one won't work) I wouldn't write it anywhere. 2. Having an open bar for part of the evening is okay, as long as people are given notice that the bar is closing at dinner time. In the invite, I wouldn't say anything about an open bar, just say cash bar, so it is like a pleasant surprise when they show up. Honestly, a glass or two of wine, a glass of champagne and free nonalcoholic drinks are what I would reasonably "expect" at a wedding. The rest is gravy. And your friends should not be offended b/c they can't drink you out of house and home. And if they are, are they really friends?
It is not the worst thing you can do but I think it is best avoided. You do not have to offer alcohol, and it is odd to ask guests to pay for things. 1. Even just the 1 hour of open bar would be perfect, especially with wine being unlimited. Many people like beer/wine with the meal, so I think that is generally nice, but I consider anything after that to be extra. I would just announce that while the bar will be closing/going to cash, they may ask the servers for wine. 2. Yes, you do not need to have a fully open bar. 3.They should not be upset, don't tell them it was just for cost but you are hosting the event and it is your job to budget appropriately. As long as you provide time appropriate refreshments there isn't really anything specfic required. Wine is fine and one hour of open bar is perfect. Personally, I would have either just wine and beer, or if you can afford it 1 hour "cocktail hour" and no cash bar, preferably with the cocktail hour right before dinner so they could grab a cocktail to have with the meal.
I usually say cash bars are very tacky -- if you can't afford to entertain your guests this way don't have alcohol at all or have only beer and wine. However, I'm starting to lean a little to the idea of cash bars believing that the bride and groom should not be financially burdened getting their friends and family drunk or providing endless expensive ? I love the one hour of open bar and feel if someone is doing cash bar they should at least have an open bar hour before turning it to cash. That's a great thing. I think the wait staff should go to each table, say, "I am Lee and I will be your server tonight. I wanted to let you know that Champagne, red and white wine, and non alcoholic drinks are complimentary tonight, as long as you ask me to bring them to you. If you prefer to get them from the bar, there will be a charge for them. Is there anything else I can help you with before we start dinner service?" If you wanted to *also* put them on the menu cards, how about something like this: Champagne, red and white wine and nonalcoholic beverages are complimentary when requested from your server. There is a charge for service at the bar after 8:00 p.m.
I think that sometimes in these cases you need to just serve wine and champagne... that way it's not confusing. It's also not that expensive to just buy a couple of bottles (1 vodka, 1 rum, 1 jack daniels). Then, it's free for the guests, and once the bartenders run out of it, that's the end of the alcohol. Then, guests don't feel like they have to pay, and the few people that are coming who drink, will be happy
As a photographer I find that weddings with cash bars are just as classy as any other. You could put at the bottom of the menu that red and white wine are available per request of the server, and that mixed drinks and liquor are available at the cash bar. I do not think that is offense of tacky as all. The DJ could also make an announcement as people are arriving about the open cocktail hour. I never find a cash bar tacky or offensive-I find drunk people who took advantage of the bride and groom paying the tab tacky and offensive! If they are upset over something like this, then they can go home and get drunk. =) That's just my opinion at least!
Limited bar is better than cash bar, can you ask your servers to tray up and approach guests? Otherwise I would enlist the help of relatives and the bridal party to let guests know
Since I HATE alcohol and people who abuse it, I would NEVER provide anything more than maybe a bottle or two of champagne to toast the bride and groom per table. I would provide a CASH bar for those inconsiderate people who cannot handle life without booze. Anyone who has a problem with that certainly does not have to be there.
Maybe you should put a few hundred on the bar for the reception. Nothing big, something like $300 would be fine. And it's not rude. I'll be doing it. We are in a GFC.