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My fiance and I are paying for most of our wedding and reception. We are not rich and do not want to go into marriage with debt so we are trying to cut corners as much as possible. The place I want to have my reception requires that we use their drinks, which the lowest option is $15/person. We will have about 80 at the reception. That is a lot of money just for alcohol. Would it be rude to ask people to pay $1 or $2 for each of their drinks? It is cheaper than at a bar but then again, I do not want to be rude about the situation. What should I do? Thanks!
This is a very causal reception. People do not have to dress in suits or fancy dresses, just nice clothes. And I doubt that we would get a lot of gifts because I know how the people are that we are inviting. All the people that will be invited are close friends of ours, no co-workers or people that we do not really correspond often.
YES it is rude. You are not trying to be rude at all, but it is. Those who don't think so are non-drinkers and couldn't care less. The best solution to this really is to serve a couple choices of domestic beer, and a wine choice or two- inexpensive wine of course. The wine can be listed as simply "chardonnay" or "shiraz" or "blush" no need for labels. Alcohol is what adds up. Wine and beer are relatively less expensive. You can ask your guests to pay for any mixed drinks they want- that is a GREAT idea if you are at least offering the wine and beer. Than it's up to them and you two haven't broke the bank. Sumiton offer drinks for the first hour or two only...than cash bar after a certain time. This too is done, and you would simple note at the bar or on the menu cards "cash bar after 7pm". Talk to the venue about this, most do offer reduced prices for beer and wine only Sumiton ask if you can bring your own box or two of wine and pony keg or two of domestic beer. People do this ALL the time, hopefully your venue is accommodating and not selfish. Actually, if the venue is not willing to work with you on this, and you can still get your money back- do so. If they are not willing to help you, than they will be difficult in the future as well- guaranteed. Good luck!
In my opinion close friends will understand if such a small and casual wedding doesn't have an open bar. At the end of the day they're attending because they love you and support you, not for the party or the booze. And providing a minimum charge bar should be more than enough. The acceptance of cash bars at weddings depends on many things. Where I grew up, they're normal and expected. Where other people have grown up, they're seen as a huge faux pax. You know best what is accepted in your area, so do what you feel is right. Good luck with everything. EDIT: About what one of the other posters said about not mentioning it on the invite... I've always found it best to mention with the invite. Use a small slip of paper or something. But it's better that you know all the guests know, than having some of them have to rush out to find a money machine or going without drinks all night.
I get that this is a very heated debate among people. Some have the opinion of well if you are hosting a regular party, you wouldn't expect people to pay, right? So they assume that means that alcohol is a given freebie at any party, including a reception. However, what if the couple doesn't drink but know that some people at the wedding will drink? If the wedding is dry, many people say..Oh if I can't drink..I wont stay! Nobody wants that attitude on their wedding day. An open bar is expensive. Nobody is saying you can't drink. But then, would you really want to pay for someone to get slobbering drunk? An open bar is an invitation for people to get drunk. Not to drink...but to drink too much. At least with a cash bar they actually have to think about what they are consuming. Some may say, Oh well that's tacky, how dare they not pay for my alcohol consumption! Well, that's their opinion, and it is your wedding and it is your choice. If the rest of your wedding is wonderful, I doubt that those that actually care about you and your marriage are going to fault you for it.
Yes, it is rude to request guests to make a contribution to the reception. It is wise of you not to go into debt for your wedding day. If your guests are there for the right reasons, they will understand that you can't overextend yourselves by having a lavish reception when you can't afford it. Not all couples have alcohol at their receptions - have you considered eliminating it? Doing so will cut your budget as well as eliminate the possibility of any guests getting drunk. If that is not something you want to do.... then carefully, carefully look at your guest list. Don't give single people the option to bring a date. If you haven't spoken to or seen the person in five years, cut them from your list. Also... are you completely set on this particular venue? Is there another place that you would enjoy just as much that would allow you greater flexibility in your catering? If you are set on the venue, and your guest list is set, then what about the date... can you negotiate a lower price by being more flexible about the day of the week (have it on Friday night instead of Saturday night)? Or have you considered changing the month of your wedding to negotiate a lower price - summer is wedding season, so if you do spring or fall, you could probably get a lower rental fee.
I don't think its rude, just uncommon. The way I see it, there are two options: 1. Instead of making it a cash bar all night, see if the hall will work with you on the pricing (maybe cut it in half) to have 3 hours of open bar, but closed during dinner (which gives you the first 4 hours of the night) and then it turns into a cash bar. As long as you notify your guests that a cash bar will be available after a specific time, they shouldn't have a problem with it. 2. Check into places that don't require you to use their alcohol and bring it in on your own. Its really much cheaper that way anyway! Good Luck
You’ll find a wide variety of answers on the topic of host vs. no host bars. Here is how I look at it: A wedding reception is a party hosted by the happy couple. You are providing your guests with a meal, desert, entertainment and fellowship. Why would you charge them for drinks? If your budget will not allow for an open bar, do not serve alcohol. Bear in mind, your guests will not complain about a cash bar during the reception! That's beyond rude! But people will talk, at birthday parties, bbq's and other get-togethers.
Dont mention anything about bar on the invitations. If you want, spread the cash bar via word of mouth. No one will find spending $1 or $2 for drinks - that is very reasonable compared to the normal $5-$6 for a drink
Yes it is rude to ask your guests to buy their drinks, it is kinda like having them over to your house for a meal and making them pay for a drink there. Wouldn't it be possible or perhaps cheaper to get a different venue that may be a little cheaper where you can buy your own liquor. I figured out the cost of the liquor that they are going to charge you for, and my daughter is getting married next year, and will have about 250 people there and we will be renting a place for her reception and we will be buying the alcohol for it ourselves and still be paying a lot less than what they are charging you. I would shop around a little more if I were you
It is very rude to ask people to pay for things at your wedding. If you want to save money - just skip the booze. If people want to drink they can have their own parties and trips to the bar after the wedding. If the wedding is casual, then alcohol really isn't necessary. I've been to a few dry weddings and they were in fact much more enjoyable as there were no weird drunkards running around saying and doing embarassing things.
With my experience with weddings that would be very awkward and tactless with your guests. My recombination would be to try having a bar full of virgin drinks such as apple cider and virgin maragaritas. That will surely cut down on the price from 15 bucks a person to maybe 5-9 bucks a person. Have fun and good luck!