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I have been with my wife for 5 years. She has a child from a previous relationship that she doesn't collect child support for. She doesn't work, she doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, she has bad credit, I paid for her school loans and she doesn't do anything. When we fight, it always ends up being me fault. She says that I don't know how to be a husband but, I work for myself. I own my business, I am so stressed out and I can't come home and do her job. What can I do to make her see that I will leave her if she doesn't get her $hit together?
Wow she's very unfair. She needs to at least cook or do something with her degree.
I agree, it isn't fair to you that your wife seems to leave all the work for you... but have you considered that she might be clinically depressed? If she wasn't like this in the past and has started to avoid her responsibilities and is moody and always in a bad place, there's something going on. I think marriage counseling for both of you would be helpful in your case, whether she is depressed or not. You're using quite a few 'absolutes' like "she ALWAYS" or "she NEVER," which is usually a sign that you're not looking at the situation objectively. A neutral third party might help the two of you communicate and come to an understanding about the problems in the relationship. Marriage is for better or for worse, and this sounds like bad times, but if you do love her you need to get to the root of the problem. If she really is just sponging off you, you can move on with a clear conscience knowing that you analyzed the situation and attempted to fix things.
I hope you realize that not all women are like your wife. I for one am not lazy or unproductive. I worked part time while raising two daughters and helped my husband run his business from home. I cook three meals a day, do laundry, clean house, mow the lawns, pick up the two large dogs poo in our yard, and write the checks for our bills. I am thrifty and try to save money for our family. I like a clean home and clean sheets on our bed. I get my car washed every week and insist on looking nice throughout the day. I'm sorry that you didn't get a homemaker, but I'd encourage you to get the two of you into marriage counseling. Every man's house should be his castle. My opinion. Good luck!
No, it's not so many women.. it's HER and HER friends. Of couse she will be FRIENDS with the same kind of people who have things in common with her. You really need to get to know someone better before you marry them. There must have been red flags. Go to marriage counseling. They will listen to both sides and give you "homework" for the week; for you to listen to how she feels, for her to meet YOUR needs as well. If after a few months of this nothing changes, then you can feel justified to say you tried. Unfortunately some women JUST Desert Hot Springs SOME MEN are plain lazy and unmotivated and that's what you ended up with... if she won't change, find someone who appreciates how hard you work for your family by doing some work that benefits the family as well.
A relationship is a two way street both parties have to contribute. That is crazy that she is expecting you to work to support her child. I realize you knew about the child going into the marriage however it isn't fair to you to have to support her child pay for things the child needs is part of the marriage. Was she like this when you guys were dating. It is the holday season give her a choice help out or she can leave. That simple. I am having that problem with my fiance he has a daughter that lives with us and he refuses to work. I tried being blunt postponing the marriage and everything i can besides kicking him out. Good luck to you
I don't know really i am a woman and i really don't understand when another woman acts like this if she was working that would be different then you should split the responsibility at home but i have friends like this and i don't get it if i do not have my house clean and supper cooked for my family i feel like i have let them down it is my job as long as i decide to stay home with the children when i decide to if i ever do to join the working people again then that will be different
Well, first of all stop being sexist. There are men who sit on the couch all day making excuses while their wives do everything for them. Some people are lazy, and believe marriage is an entitlement. That they "have you" now so they don't have to lift a finger and as long as you bring home the paychecks life is good. As long as you're willing to put up with it, she'll keep inventing irrational excuses for you to keep things as they are.
I'm not one of those women and "so many women" are not like that. To tell you the truth most men i know are like that. There's lazy men and there are lazy women. Why don't you just TALK to her. Tell her get a job or clean up at home.
She sounds like quite the supportive wife. Did you know all of this negative stuff about her before you were married? I would absolutely head out of that mess if she has no intention of bettering herself and plans to loaf around and sponge off of you forever.
You left her a long time ago...now its time to make the move. Print this page and show it to her. You sound like a single father of two. Every woman/man should bring something to the table besides excess baggage for someone else to take care of. #1 They should be able to take care of themselves. #2 They should be able to help support their offspring.....or #3 They should be trying to get their career in order.
You married a whore. She thinks if you lets you have sex with her once in a while you owe her big time. You are just someone she is using for her own purposes. She doesn't love you! I had a wife like that, too. I'm sorry for you. Try to get her to do volunteer work or give to charity. She need to learn to give and help others before your marriage ends in divorce.