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    My bf and I live together in an apartment and this year we originally planned to save up money to rent a house but now that plan is ruined. His mom and sister live in his grandpa's house and his grandpa is running out of money from supporting them so he's selling the house to my bf for $40,000. He feels that he needs to buy the house in order to put a roof over their heads. I told him I don't want to move into that house with them because it would be chaotic. I don't want to have to come home feeling awkward or not free to be myself. I don't even like the fact that his 28y/o sister doesn't help pay for any utility bills and she has a daughter and she uses her as an excuse to have no time to go to school or get another job. My bf has 2 jobs plus he's doing Army NG and I have a full time job and also doing Army Reserves. We still barely have any savings left every month and now it seems like we have to pay for a mortgage for a house we don't live in. I seriously don't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose me either but everyday after this bad news was given to us, we end up arguing when we talk about it. I'm getting tired of it and it's something I don't even want to get involved in because I would not even think of stopping him from helping his family. His sister is a different issue though, she's older than him and their mom makes minimum wage and she still can't step up and help pay for anything. Not a damn thing. He plans to give her a year to get back on her feet but she's been given years by their grandpa to fix her life so I don't believe this BS. I'm realistic. My bf's optimistic. Sure I'd get another job just to be able to stay in the apartment so my bf doesn't get broke but my real question here is... Am I doing this for a good cause? Is there really hope that his family is going to get back on their feet? Also, how likely is it for him to get a $40,000 loan? His credit is around 650-670 and he makes around $1800 a month.

    These days you need GOOD credit. His credit is very fair and would require a co-signer. As for the issue of his family...That is not HIS responsibility. He has his own life to live without his family bringing him down and holding him back. If they lose their home it's on them. If the mom doesn't want to pay bills, the daughter doesn't want to work, and the grandpa can't afford it anymore, what makes YOU think you and him will be able to pull the weight of four additional people? When do you think you will be able to start a life with just you and him? The good news for you is that he might not get that loan. If you don't want him to do this, then that is your only hope.

    If you stay with this guy, you are headed for disaster. This situation is a real mess, and his sister and mom are nothing but lazy-a$$ women who want a free ride. To even THINK that your boyfriend would take out a loan for this ridiculous setup is absurd. Your boyfriend sounds like he's being forced into buying the house for them, and not really for the both of you. And,you should NOT have to get another job, so your boyfriend can support those two!! Here is the problem: The mom and sis were never forced to work because grandpa paid for everything. And because grandpa paid for everything, they believed that this is the way life should be. Never forced to work, go to school, or do anything to better themselves. The sister will continue to use the kid as her lame excuse, even though she should have been working years ago. If your boyfriend puts that roof over their heads, it's basically the same thing, as if he's saying, "Don't worry mom and sis. You don't have to do a thing, I'll take care of the roof and you won't have to work a dime for it".........On top of that, you'd actually have to LIVE with them??? He can't be serious!!!!! So, you can see where this is going if you stay with him, unless you convince him that he should not be helping them at all....if it was just the grandpa and he needed some financial help, then sure, but these are two able bodied women. I'd hate to say break it off but you'll be better off splitting up now, vs. later when things are worse. You shouldn't have to worry about barely making it or how much savings you won't have. Sometimes, people just have to say NO to family. It's the only way they'll ever learn to support themselves. Good luck.

    I don't know about the loan issue. Debt to income ratio comes in to play. And these does a mortgage is harder to get. So even though his credit is decent. His debt to income may not be. Plus they almost always want 20% (does he qualify for a Athens loan?) On to the real problem. You are not married. And his money is his money. Which means you do not have to move in with his family or have anything to do with it. I completely understand where you are coming from. And i would feel EXACTLY the way you are about it. So i think if i was in your position i would tell him that i love him very much but i think its a huge mistake. Actions speak louder than words and his family has proven that they have no interest in bettering themselves. And if he still insists than there isn't much you can do. But remember that this issue may not go away EVER! If this issue gets resolved and you guys are happy again. Anytime his family is in need. He is going to run to their aid and it will create more issues for you. I think that if this issue does get resolved and you two are talking of marriage someday that you guys MUST talk about future issues and how they will be resolved. Good luck to you.

    No offense, but with a score that low, I doubt he is going to be approved for a loan for anything. But, that may be a blessing in disguise because it's a bad idea, as I told you the other night when you asked.

    Get married and talk about it later. Investing in property before marriage is stupid!

    SWEETY, your his GF not his WIFE! You lucky he even is offering you a place to stay ;) His FAMILY is his blood, and until he marries you, you have really no say in anything. If you don't like it, or his family and want to be that selfish... pack n LEAVE.

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  • Rosina Armstrong
    Rosina Armstrong
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  • Darren Connelly
    Darren Connelly
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