My husband has been out of work for the past few months and we have been living off of our savings which is about to run out. However I had always talked about owning my own business and I was going to get a business loan to do it and we had agreed to it. But the other day he told he got a new job but it's in Arizona! The thing is I don't want to move to Arizona I want to stay here and start my business like I was supposed to. But he told me that this was a better idea since it's more guaranteed. But I don't think he understands why I don't want to move across the country where I don't know anyone and he called me selfish and we had a fight and he hasn't talked to me since. But is it really selfish though to want him to find a job here instead?
You said the reason you don't want to marry is because you won't know anyone there. Yeah, that's selfish. Your reason for not wanting to move is based purely on your personal comfort (or lack of) and not on any practical reason, such as job market, housing, cost of living, whether or not the business you want to start would be a good fit there, etc. You're almost out of savings, so what will you put up as collateral for your business loan? What happens if you take out this loan and your business doesn't take off? How will you pay it back? Why can't you start that business anywhere (such as in a place where your husband has a job so he can support the two of you while you work to get your business off the ground)? It takes years, usually, for a new business to turn a profit. What did you expect the two of you to live on during that time? It could be 5 or more years before you're out of the red, or even breaking even, much less actually making money (depending on your line of business). Arizona is beautiful. I've lived there twice. They have roads and airports, so it's easy to travel to other parts of the country to visit friends/family, and it has lots of nice people so you can make new friends. Yeah, relocating to a different state (or country) can be very scary. It can also be very exciting and provide all kinds of opportunities you didn't have in your previous location. If it doesn't work out, you guys can always move back 'home'/
Sure it's selfish, how dare he want to put food on the table and a roof on the head. Shameful behaviour on his part. He should just stay jobless and you guys can go stand on the corner with a cup. I think that's a better idea don't you? Seriously honey. You're not in the financial popsition to be throwing a childish tantrum about geography. Get your ego in check and start acting like a functioning couple.
Are there even any jobs for him where you currently are that compare to the job he's gotten in Arizona? Would moving to Arizona for some reason make it impossible to start your business? The only real reason you gave for not wanting to leave is because you don't know anyone in Arizona. But you'll meet people. I've moved a tons of times to places where I didn't know anyone, and I've always made friends. And I don't make friends easily.
I think you could probably start your business in Arizona. But I don't blame you for not wanting to move either. If it is a really good job that would provide you the ability to come back and visit the people you will miss, then you should move with him.
Sadly, your husband is right. I know that moving sucks, but if your husband doesnt take the job, and your business fails (and MOST small business start ups fail... i mean come on, government regulation is super high now), then you will both end up bankrupt and losing the house. your best bet, by far, is to take that job. then you will also have money to start up a business over THERE! yeah you'll need to work slightly harder on marketing since you won't have many friends in the area at first, but really, its for the best. its not "selfish" to want him to find a job here- but LOGICALLY, IT IS FOOLISH. because he doesnt have TIME to keep looking for a job here. YOUR SAVINGS ARE ALMOST UP! he can take the job over there, and then he can apply for jobs down here (where you live now) in your spare time. and if he gets a better offer at home here, then y'all can move back here once he gets it. but right now, he needs to take this job. beggars cant be choosers. your savings is almost up. he has no job. its common sense what he needs to do. he needs that job NOW and you need to support him.
Yes. Your husband has been unemployed for months and you're living off your savings. He has an opportunity to work. You're so self-centered you can't see that him working is a good thing and for cripes's sakes.. you can start your business in Arizona.
It's more important to have economic stability. Sometimes moving for a job will provide that for you. Hold on on starting a business, until you're financially stable. Then reevaluate your situation.
Yeah...it's kind of selfish. If you need the income and he found a job, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Starting your own business costs money and has a high risk of failure so that's a bad idea if you don't have much cash. Besides, you can start your own business in Decatur once you get back on your feet financially.
As you described your savings is about to run out so its better to move with your husband. Always see the other side of coin too. What if (sorry to say that) your business is not successful and then you both will be out of job and in debt (the loan). So your plans can go horribly wrong. PS: Depending on type of business you want to do; you can do that in Arizona too. Just your abilities and go all out...yeeeeeee..lolz Source : me
Super selfish. Have you not learned how difficult jobs are to find. And guaranteed income is always better than possible income. Move to Arizona. Be supportive. And start your business there.
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