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Alright, so before I start let me say that I have gotten myself into a hole and made some stupid mistakes so far. I started dating this girl freshmen year of high school and after being really happy i cheated on her for an ex. We remained friends on and off for the next 4 years. So we hadn't talked to each other for about a year until about two weeks ago. We ran into each other and needless to say we had both changed. I went from being a drugged out high school kid to being a hard working and successful guy. It kinda shocked her. She wouldn't stop talking about my car so i asked her if she wanted to go for a ride sometime and hang out. Two days later she is at my apartment and telling me about her boyfriend of 1 year and 6 months. Somewhere during the night she made a move on me. I said i couldn't because i didn't want her to cheat. Well that didn't last long. We ended up having sex and after-wards she told me how i was only her second partner and that she wanted to explore with guys. We ended up spending a lot of time together and i fell for her pretty hard in a short period of time. Now she is broken up and she tells me she no longer wants other guys, only me. But she isn't ready to date because she just got out of the relationship. So pretty much we have been living together, we are moving in together, and she is driving my car. I have a lot of money so i lent her some money to get her own car today. Now, im at home and thinking about how much im spoiling her. I realize i shouldnt be but i can't help it. I have never felt my age, im ready to buy a house and settle down or at least be in a relationship. She asked me if she could move to arizona with me and then started saying she wants a kid. This kinda freaked me out because i want the same thing but she just said she isnt ready to date. So my question is do you think she really likes me or is it my money? I'm not sure if i should continue messing with her or just be friends. I have always loved her but right now it seems like she isnt really into dating. She likes me but apparently is still working out issues.
Dan, I feel your pain. I'm afraid I don't have the answer you want to hear. Sometimes our heart overpowers our brains. Read your question, take yourself out of it, pretend i was asking you. If you do that i think you would see the insanity. Do you see it? There are so many things wrong with this. She cheated on her long term boyfriend, with you. What makes you think she won't cheat on you? She is not ready to date, but she will move in with you? You r buying her a car? I feel your pain but this is crazy. As i see it there are to possibilities, one you have low self-esteem or you are trying to prove to yourself you can get her back. Either way I would say you have fallen for the idea of being with the girl and not the girl. It is impossible for me to really know only you know, but no matter what I would say things aren't right. If you really want this to work then i would slow things down, and test the waters. Don't buy the car. Tell here you want to slow things down. Tell her you want to date for a while, then if that goes well you can talk about moving in. No car. Good Luck
The one sure way to find out if it is about the money, is to take it away. You live with her, so I'm not talking about letting the frig go empty or hiding the toilet paper, but what if you started saving some of the money you have been splurging on her and simply state that you are saving for the wedding. If something strikes a chord in her and she doesn't like your idea, you may have your answer, I'm sorry to say. But if she looks at you with "deer caught in the headlights" eyes and sees if something is in your hand, like a ring, you may have just begun a life together. Make sure she knows that you are ready to settle down and have a family, and if she is not, some time apart might be in order, just so you both can figure out what you are each wanting from this relationship. It's hard, I know, but honest and up-front has kept me from dragging things on when the love was gone may times.
I say it seems like shes just going after you for the money. I would just sit back and lay low for awhile to see if shes really up for a relationship because it sounds to me like she isn't. If you see that she really is in love with you and wants a relationship then go for it.. but take it slow. On the other hand if you see right through her and you see that shes just goin after the money then its probably time to move on. You seem like a smart intelligent guy, so you should know what to do. -Best of Luck
Eric has the best answer i think ...no one of us can know wheather she wants money or love because anyone doesnt know her personally...the sure thing is that she doesnt prove to want love because she cheated,che wants a car, che wants materialistic things and doesnt seem to be loyal. BE CAREFUL and dont give her many things until you find out what the heck is going on. be prepared to face the truth if its bad. i say again that youre the only one who can figure out weather or not she wants money but if i knoew her i could tell you defenatelly
I guess she's get into your pocket... No offense but the way you say it, it looks like she's taking advantage in all your assets... And if you have a feeling of "not moving" with her or be with her whether in Arizona, NY, Forest Park or wherever then don't. When money talks everybody listen, every time money is involve people change... If you have hunches believe on that... 99.9% its true.
Well to test it, I'd stop giving her presents and money for a few weeks. If she stays take it slow and build it up into a strong relationship
My first thought on this relationship seems that it is for the money...
This is how it works your parents have sex give birth to the stork who then goes and gets a baby that is ripening on a tree somewhere in Australia
If she doesn't want a relationship, but all your stuff... Then it's the money.
Moneymoneymoney. You've said it yourself. "she couldn't stop going on about my car" get out of there whilst you can