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...second time to Iraq. I know how close these people get. I'm here at home with the kids/horses, and I begged him not to reenlist. We don't need the money. I really am thinking about leaving him before he gets back. I love him like no one's business, but I can't take another year of this. I really am thinking about cheating because he's leaving me again, when I begged him not to. I don't think that is the correct think to do, but at the same time, I really did beg him not to reenlist.
You know what, I haven't heard one nice thing out of any of you people...military jerks are just that JERKS...I DID NOT agree tobe married to a guy that left me for years...he was Guard when I met him, and he told me that Guard meant taking care of OUR OWN Aliamanu THE UNITED STATES. Not Overseas. BTW, My Dad is buried at Arlington. I hope Bush Jr. Dies tomorrow, and all you dingleberried with him.
Oh, and I'm a registered nurse who worked her own way through college, my husband and I lost what would have been our only child (a daughter) the last time he was sent overseas. I was half way through my pregnancy, and was told (in 2003) that I no one in the Guard was able to tell me if my husband would be able to be with me when she was born.
Not knowing when your husband joined Gaurd, it was possible that at the time, they were still being used mostly to supplement stateside units while the regular active duty deployed..hence protecting the people at home. Now that has certainly changed over the past few years to the point where just as many Gaurd and Reserve deploy to the dessert as anyone else. And I agree, he should not have re-enlisted if you were so adamantly opposed. That points to larger communication problem. My advice would be to start seeing a therapist to work out the feelings you are having over this choice..the anger, the sadness, the feelings of abandonment and probably even some resentment. Don't make any decisions on ending the marriage or cheating until you've worked with your therapist awhile. Plus, if you do decide not to continue with the marriage, the therapist will be there to help you sort through some tough decisions, help your organize yourself and figure out how to handle the whole thing. Not everyone finds the military life to be thier cup of tea. A lot of posters here may bash you for not standing by your man, but at the same time only you can decide what you can and can not live with or want your children to deal with. As I said before, the fact your husband totally discounted your feelings tends to make me think he probably has never really listened to you and that these communication issues have been a problem in areas other than his military service. Take care of yourself..focus on sorting through your feelings and then make a decision.
I know deployments are hard to deal with and it sucks to be a spouse sometimes. You may not need the money but he may feel the need to support his country. I Know you love him, but if you are so crazy in love with this man why cheat?? And if you do leave him because of this dont do it when he is gone, I think that is one of the worst things a wife can do to her husband while he is deployed. I am ex-army and now i am a spouse of a deployed soldier. I live overseas by myself with just my daughter, no family or friends for support. I fi can do it, you can too. You just have to determine how much you love him. If i were you i would let him deploy then when he comes back tell him you want him out of the military or you want out of the marriage. i would give it time though. I am really sorry your going through this. Just remember be respectful to him, he is doing this for America. ANd I know GW isnt the best but hey what can you do?? I wish you and your husband the best
Why would anyone be nice to you when you are contemplating cheating on your husband because of his chosen career. Be his wife until he returns and then get counseling. No sense making mistakes you'll probably regret later in life. You contradict yourself too much. You got the kids, the horses and money. Support your man while he's gone and straighten out the problems when he returns. Counseling young lady - counseling Sarge
I was in the Navy and I deployed on a regular basis including ODS. My wife knew I was in the Navy when we started dating and got married. She really hated the separation but never complained. The day I got out she told me that she was very happy I did, but she would never tell me until I was out because she didn't want me to change who I was for her. That must have worked, since we've been together for almost 19 years. IMHO, you are being totally self absorbed. If you really love your husband then you love all of him, including the part that wants to continue to serve in the military. I am assuming that you knew he was in the military when you got married so you knew what you were getting in to. This isn't easy for him and you aren't making it easier with your ego centric attitude. Now if you don't really love him, then leave him but make a decision and let him know before you go do something really stupid like cheat on him. Again, very selfish of you. You know he deserves better than that from you.
If you begged him not to re-enlist and he did anyway, then you have serious troubles in your relationship. Deliberately cheating on him simply makes you a whore. Be a better person than that. If you are so upset with the relationship as to want to destroy it through infidelity, then have the guts to end it before he leaves. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then resolve to pass the time until he returns and you both can get some counseling about what it means to be in a committed partnership/relationship that is healthy.
Now explain why you expect to make a post in the MILITARY section about your husband deploying and that you are considering cheating on him or leaving him, and want people to be NICE TO YOU??? Geesh I dont even know where to begin because you are wrong on SO many levels. You give military wives a bad name and it is because of women like YOU that we have the stereotype of being cheaters and writing Dear John letters. You dont love your husband "like no one's business" because if you did, you wouldnt want to hurt him by cheating or leaving him....all because he loves his country and is willing to sacrifice to serve? And another thing, you are ONE WEAK individual for not being able to handle a year without your husband. Are you KIDDING ME? You dont have the guts and fortitude to stick it out for a year? Well, sister, dont let the door knob hit you on the way out...your husband is to be commended for his service and deserves a wife who REALLY WILL love him and support him no matter what.
Guess you shouldn't have got married, if for better or for worse doesn't even include 'gone for a while'. The fact that you would even consider CHEATING as a solution is shameful. Do not tell us you 'love him like no one's business', only to say you're thinking of cheating on him. You should have known him well enough when you married him to realize the types of decisions he would make. I feel deeply sorry for your husband, and not an ounce of pity for you.
You do what is best for "you" and your family. He feels like a "warrior" and maybe feels he is accommplishing something going there, What? I don't know. He is wasting his time, and his life maybe! Where does this leave you? Alone! It is not worth it. I did not get involve with a lady when I was in, to avoid this confusion, frustration. What is correct or what is not, only you can and must determine for yourself and for the value of your life.
George has the answer! Ask your Hubby to check this out with you together. If not an option...I hope this gives you some ideas that work and will help. Get Ready...here we go!!!!
If he really did love you he would put you first before the military and listen to you. i didnt really answer your question but I hope wat i said helped you narrow down ure choices on what to do. to me there isn't anything I should suggest for you he is ure husband and im just another random person. I dont noe the love you have for each other I can't say anymore