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We (my wife and I) have been "falsely" paying child support arrears for over 13yrs (yes, I made a mistake and paid cash for child support for the first 4-5yrs). My Ex (we will call her "this woman") took my cash (exchanged between the kids) and she also received welfare (I had no idea until years later), in fact my cash paid for her education (she's a Radiologist now), and here is the kicker, I recently found out she is once again getting c/s checks!!! We can barely afford to put food on our table because my wife lost her job, we are struggling and this woman is getting more money!! Makes no sense that she lied and used my c/s cash to pay for her education, applied for gov help, while living with her parents and yet our kids wore torn clothes because she refused to buy them new ones. We (my wife and I) did all that we could bought them clothes, took them on vacation, always picked them up on our assigned days and any other time we were allowed, we basically bought them anything else they needed. This woman even has the audacity to steal money from her own children (they are all in their mid 20's), she uses them and mentally abuses them and now she is getting more money from the gov. (technically me) while I continue to pay for something that I already paid for 4 times over. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE CAN DO WITHOUT HAVING TO DISH OUT SO MUCH MONEY, (I CAN BARELY AFFORD MY MORTG. WITH 1-INCOME) ?? PLEASE HELP US WITH ANY INFO YOU MAY HAVE THAT COULD HELP US! THANKS Kaneohe Station ADVANCE
If they are in their mid twenties, there should be no more child support. Did she get a ruling that you are in arrears? If so, go to court and plead your case.
It probably depends on which State you are living in. In California, the State adds interest to arrears, compounded annually, at about 10%. Since his pay is being garnished, to simply meet his "normal" support amount, the arrears will continue to grow with the interest. If he changes jobs, that may add to it too, as it sometimes takes awhile for the State to catch-up with him. Some States also "flag" his Social Security number, so they can confiscate a Tax refund, or Stimulus check. Lottery winnings are also subject to this at some point. Some States also put a "hold" on renewing Drivers Licenses. If things get way out of hand, he may be jailed, but I do not see what that accomplishes. As arrears add up, and the interest is compounded, he ALWAYS owes the money in total, regardless of the child's age. In other words, even if his kid is THIRTY, if there is a balance due, he has to pay it, it can be taken. And NO, he cannot write it off in a Bankruptcy, either.
You can't do a thing. I've seen hundreds of these cases in the last two decades. I have a Texas father who was ordered to pay $50,000 in retroactive child support to Welfare, though he had paid more than that already to the mother. Here's a similar case. is no clear answer to this. The government needs to be producing Public Service Announcements that men should never pay child support directly to the mother. These may help. learn a father's rights, join Dads House in Yahoo Groups. It's free to join, access all materials, and you associate with other fathers going through, and have already gone through, the same issues. We have an Educational Manual that teaches everything that needs to be known in addressing your legal issues. Mention your question here when asked why you want to join, as well as your state?
If you paid in cash and don't have any way to prove that you did and how much then you can't do anything...sorry. This is why you should always keep a record of payments. I suggest filing a motion for reduction of support but there is no guarantee that you will get it.
Get a lawyer, to help you speak to the DA. Try and get as many receipts as you can, you can make receipts in arrears for money that you have given to her, even if its cash. Get receipts for everything- Groceries, day care, and other child related expenses.
Nothing you can do. You made a mistake and now you pay for it. Sorry. Always read the rules before playing anything.