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Have not seen my son 16 years, I pay child support $660 a month in the arrears included. I have learned that his last name was change in court, and all this time he though he was living with his real father. I found him on Facebook they live 1000 miles in a different state Now mother has asked that I stay away from him and she will ask the courts to discontinue child support and what am owe.Saying that its only confusing him. I don't think her husband knows that he(my son) knows now that he is the step-father and that I have been paying child support.She also mention that she doesn't need the money "my husband and I are doing very well". I will agree to her terms, but I no longer want to pay child support and what I owe.I don't want to add problems to him and his family. and I want to move on with mine Is this possible? Can she asked to discontinue child support and what am in the arrears?
George is right on nearly everything but you need to go one more step. The child's stepfather should adopt him. If he does, then you will owe no more money toward your child, nor will you be related to him either and you will have no more rights to him. You may still owe any arrears but I am sure you can come to an arrangement with your ex over t his, unless money is owed to the government. Since you haven't bothered to see your child in the last 16 years Kapaa made an effort to obtain visitation (one would presume you would have mentioned this if you had), you might as well give up your child to adoption. Hire a lawyer...do nothing without a lawyer telling you too...and go to court. But know this...if the child's stepfather does not adopt your child, it is doubtful the judge will cancel your parental rights, much less the child support as the child still needs a father. And don't trust your ex....she can't be trusted and what she is saying is not in your best interest. Good luck and God bless!
First off, this has to be done in court, with you present, to be legal, otherwise she could come back to nail you later. The boy needs to be told as he will learn one day, and he's old enough to be told. You can also request for any arrears to be set aside, provided it's not owed Welfare. I assume your state have jurisdiction over the case and that you have not been paying without a court order. DO NOT RELY HER DOING IT AND SIMPLY TELLING YOU IT HAS BEEN DONE. Why were you paying all this time without demanding your rights? It sounds like she told her husband you were not paying at all, or didn't know where you were. Sounds like a good time for a little truth be told. learn a father's rights, join Dads House in Yahoo Groups. It's free to join, access all materials, and you associate with other fathers going through, and have already gone through, the same issues. We have an Educational Manual that teaches everything that needs to be known in addressing your legal issues.
Please give Pragmatism_Rules the 10 points. You will not get a better answer. If you do not have an attorney, do not just pick one because he has a big ad in the yellow pages. Use the lawyer referral service at your state's bar association website. I am sorry that you did not have an opportunity to have a relationship with your son.