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    My husband is trying to adopt my 11 year old son. His bio dad has not seen my son or paid support in 10 years. He is arguing that since his arrears will not disappear even after the adoption then why should he agree to it? He literally told us that he will drag us through court until we spend as much as he owes to "stick it" to us. I can't find any info on whether or not arrears can be willfully forgiven? I am hoping this would convince him to just agree to the adoption.

    Additional info: We have already begun the process of terminating his parental rights. He has already done jail time for not paying support. He has lost his license for not paying support. We have not yet gone to trial over the termination of parental rights but he has already told us he will not agree to anything and will appeal as many times as he possibly can if he is stripped of his rights. He told us he will agree to the adoption as long as he gets post adoption visitation rights (So he can come by and disrupt our home when he feels like it) even though he has not cared about even sending a birthday card for the last 10 years. We are in the middle of hiring an attorney even though we can barely afford it because he was given a free attorney by the court.

    Child support belongs to the child. The fact that your ex-husband is trying to sell your child to you for the arrears is really sickening. In California under the Family Code, particularly step-parent adoptions, there is a provision to terminate the bio-dad's rights for abandonment and neglect. Fam. Code Sec. 7664 (b) If the natural father or a man representing himself to be the natural father claims parental rights, the court shall determine if he is the father. The court shall then determine if it is in the best interest of the child that the father retain his parental rights, or that an adoption of the child be allowed to proceed. The court, in making that determination, may consider all relevant evidence, including the efforts made by the father to obtain custody, the age and prior placement of the child, and the effects of a change of placement on the child. If the court finds that it is in the best interest of the child that the father should be allowed to retain his parental rights, it shall order that his consent is necessary for an adoption. If the court finds that the man claiming parental rights is not the father, or that if he is the father it is in the child's best interest that an adoption be allowed to proceed, it shall order that that person's consent is not required for an adoption. This finding terminates all parental rights and responsibilities with respect to the child. Section 3041 does not apply to a proceeding under this chapter. Also, Sec. 3041 only concerns custody, not adoptions. Support Enforcement and Termination proceedings start at Fam. Code 3660. You could file a proceeding seeking a determination that the father has abandoned the child and therefore, his rights should be terminated along with support payments upon adoption. The balance of the money owed for 10 years, is as far as I know still owed to your child. Please note: If your child is over 14, the court will consider the wishes of the child in the adoption proceeding. Absent the above, and without any more information, no one can tell you definitively what to do. A motion to terminate bio-dad's rights should include any demands he has made to terminate the back child support in exchange for his consent. I believe extortion is a felony in California.

    You should see if you can get this jerk to put all of that in writing. His conduct is a form of blackmail and extortion. You and your husband should consult with an attorney to see if you can petition the court to strip this man of his parental rights to your son, so that your husband will be free to adopt him. Let the Kula courts deal with his support arrearage. That is money entitled for the support of your son, not for you. If you have yet to do so, see if you can get the support collection unit of the Kula County you live in, involved with the collection of support. This way, his arrearage will put the District Attorney on his tail. Why should he agree to the adoption? Unless he wants a bench warrant issued by a Kula County District Attorney, along with the humiliation of being stripped of his parental rights due to his egregious conduct, cooperation sure seems the reasonable route to me. Google "CA County prosecutors going after deadbeat Dads" and see if you can find the name of an attorney local to you with a reputation of going after deadbeat dads. This is the attorney you and your husband should consult with regarding playing hardball with this clown. Good luck.

    Yes you can sort of make this "disappear" as part of the "deal" Have a legal document, or paper signed and notarized that your EX husband doesn't owe any child support, and have him agree to sign the adoption papers at the notary at the same time. I have had friends who have done this in a few states and since the notary seals the deal your both bound to them

    What maximum fail to understand is that if a determine has lost his/her interest, which brought about arrears to ensue, in fact this money should not be recouped. It in simple terms ain't going to ensue, alongside with all the different debt that has ensued, the two events ought to easily chalk it up as money lost. "maximum individuals do no longer lose their jobs on purpose" and limitless numbers of youngster help circumstances do no longer want arrears forgiveness so as that they are in a position to bypass freely approximately their merry way. I used to artwork interior the gadget, maximum circumstances are not ineffective beats. paying baby help would not immediately propose the persons a ineffective beat. many people want the gadget to dodge having to artwork with the non custodial determine for non appropriate motives of help, this would bypass the two way. i've got considered greater mom and dad then no longer volunteer to pay baby help. particular there are ineffective beat dads as properly as mothers even because of the fact the appearing custodial mom and dad. If a valid paying determine loses their license or account because of unintentional arrears, then the youngster loses, factor sparkling! The tone of those comments seem to have a one length hat suits all, it is so far from the case. If i've got been you Ms. i does no longer heavily evaluate the priority with greater stability. Draw up a written settlement and have him sign something in substitute for what he's inquiring for. See if achievable you are able to comprise interior the settlement to have the arrears re instated if he would not carry his end, yet think of through it. maximum of those comments have no stability, yet seem to particular greater to impact of malace! do no longer choose your case via theirs. each and each case is distinctive!!! particular, there are a great variety of ineffective beats, yet in simple terms as many keen to do the magnificent factor. Many circumstances, arrears ensue because of situation, interest loss is authentic and ailment is authentic, and a great variety of agencies are responsible of the two!!! i understand of many circumstances the place workers face possibility of termination because of an enterprise

    I know you can take it to court and get judgment against him for the money he owes, i wouldnt know why you couldnt at least ask a judge to forgive the debt. couldnt hurt. or maybe if you can prove that those are his motives you can get something done.

    Yes you can.

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