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I am 10 weeks pregnant, and l have no idea what I'm going to do when this bundle o' love arrives. I'm 19, turning twenty shortly and my baby is due in October of 2011. My boyfriend of three years is completely supportive of me and is currently taking time off from college to try and get job(s) so that we have the option of keeping it. He's 18 and an only child with two financially unstable but very caring parents. I grew up with four older siblings- all now very accomplished- and our mom raised us by herself. She had kids late and planned for them so that she could send us all to college with no loans and also attend every sports/music/general kid event for ALL of us. She is truly a phenomenal mom- I have yet to tell her that I am pregnant. In my family and hometown teen pregnancy is unexpected - it is a small place fueled by academics and the idea of success. So many other teens that become pregnant have limited or no options and then choose adoption- I know that if I took this route, it would be an open adoption and I would have to find the perfect family to raise my baby. Here's the kicker. When I tell my mom, she'll cry. She'll probably gently push me towards the idea of an open adoption so that my life will be the best that it can be. But I have doubts about giving my baby away. My man will support me in whatever I choose, but he's made it clear that he'd rather keep the baby. I had so much more planned for my life, and I know that my family will ultimately support me in whatever I do, but we are proud. I doubt that some of my siblings will forgive me for the extra burden on my mother if I choose to keep it and end up living at home for a few years while I get on my feet. My boyfriend and I are broke, and we're just kids ourselves- but with the help of our families those TEMPORARY ailments will go away. I don't know what's best for my baby- a loving family that my boyfriend and I handpick for our child so he/she can have all the best things in life, or his/her real family that would make it work. IF YOU HAVE GIVEN YOUR BABY UP FOR ADOPTION PLEASE GIVE Harlan ANY ADVICE Harlan INPUT. IF YOU KEPT YOUR BABY EVEN THOUGH IT WAS UNCONVENTIONAL AND HARD, PLEASE LET Harlan KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT DECISION TODAY! Luckily I have a bit of time to rack this life changing decision through the cogs of my brain, but any advice is truly appreciated. God I need it.
I got pregnant 3 months before I turned 20. My son is now 2 months old,i'm 20 now. I will be very honest with you. It's HARD but not impossible. My son and I have our days. We have good days and we have bad days but the good days always outweigh the bad ones. You'll be surprised at how much joy a baby can bring to your life even if it's a surprise baby. My advice to you would be to start looking for a job now before you start showing in your pregnancy because then it will be so much harder to get hired. School while having a baby is not impossible either. I just recieved my associates of arts in criminal jusitce. Of course it's a lot harder to do homework with a baby but again not impossible. My university has a daycare so I leaveh im there if my mom can't watch him for me. It's a life changing thing to have a baby because your life will revolve around your little one not his around yours. It gets frustrating at times also because they are so needy and so dependant on you. With this being said i'd never change my decision to have/keep my son in a million years. He's absolutely everything to me. I wish you the best in your decision and if you need anyone to talk to feel free to shoot me an email. Best of luck.
Well I had my first son at 16, my family is absolutely not the type family where we have kids when young and single at all. My parents are super conservative Catholics, my older siblings all went to Ivy League schools and were married and owned homes and all that before they had kids. So it was definitely really hard to deal with but eventually my family got over the shock and things worked out. I doubt it'll be easy but you are at least few years ahead of where I was when I got pregnant:D I think that you shouldn't really consider your family tooo much when deciding what to do. If you'd need financial support that's something to think about, but otherwise most families will wind up dealing with whatever choice you make. And adoption can be a very difficult choice for you to deal with, especially if you aren't completely comfortable with the decision. I also agree with you that your situation now is only temporary. In the long term, women who have their kids younger can actually wind up being more stable in their finances and careers than women who have them later in life [no maternity leave mid-career, etc]. Just because you're having a baby doesn't mean your whole life and plans will just disappear. You'll need to adjust the plans a bit and some things like college will take longer, but you can still have a normal successful life. Obviously it's up to you but personally I would say to keep the baby unless you are very sure that adoption is the right choice for you. My boyfriend [now husband] and I strongly considered adoption but in the end we decided that we could work it out and I think that it has worked out well for us. It was incredibly hard at some points especially when our son was younger but it was worth it. Oh and just randomly most states don't actually have any legal protections regarding open adoption. They aren't legally enforceable agreements except in a few states? You might want to look that up and see what the laws are where you live.
First I want to commend you for weighing your options and trying to make a responsible decision. My sister got pregnant at 18 during her first semester of college and kept the baby. Now 14 years later I love my nephew more than the world itself but I sorrow about them both all the time. My sister never finnished college and she struggles so much with not only mother hood but with keeping food on the table and a roof over their heads. I hate that she can't seem to get herself pulled together, and my nephew honestly doesn't have the best role models either. Like I said I love them both very very much and im not saying I wish she would have given him up but I have witnessd the bad effects teenage pregnancy can have. And not to mention the fact that my nephew has lots of medical problems that doesn't make it any easier. On the other hand, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years with no success and its not looking good for the future. Anyways, giving your baby up for adoption is a very noble thing to do. There are millions of families out there that are able and willing to take on the responsibility of a child and it is extremely heartbreaking to not be able to get pregnant. It doesn't seem far that there are people in the world who are genuinely good people and would make great parents but medically can't. Im not trying to sway you one way or the other, it sounds like you have a good support system with your bf and family. Raising your baby can absolutely be done. But it is not easy and you have to make sure u make this decision for what is best for the baby not for you or your emotions. Good luck.