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I'm writing this because I don't know where to turn, I need someone I can talk to that actually has a heart, for fear I'll lose mine. This is real and not fake by any means, I just wish I could stop crying and starving myself, and other forms of bodily harm (not suicidal, but I am depressed, as you'll see below). I have nobody, and I fear the future (I am 18). Childhood backround: Born into poor family with drunk mother and drug dealing father. Raised in an extremely violent (physically and verbally) home . P.S. my dad threatened many times to kill us with an ak-47 (a machine gun for those uneducated with guns). Mother got and still has a brain, spinal, and immunity disease that paralyzed her, put her in comas, etc. Parents got married when I was 8. Had only 1 best friend I ever hung out with. Forced to play sports and was put down constantly by my father; called ****, ***, etc. constantly and is evident and previlent in our 'family' videos. Quit all sports when my parents started their 4-year divorce when I was 12. Parents' divorce years: Moved, kicked out, and forced into over 8 different homes. Went to 3 more school districts and was hated at each one. Father became a drug dealer secretly behind my back to support himself and I (when I lived with him). Mom became a whore/prostitute to support herself and have 'fun'. Was brought to over 10 therapists because 'everything was my fault' (accomplished nothing and only wasted my time). Both of my parents literally starved me on occasions to 'punish' me. Was repeatedly called worthless, swear words, etc. up to even now. Was arrested several times for being a 'bad' child for literally talking on the phone to the opposite family, parent, locking my door, or refusing to go inside (i was sitting in my driveway) and was then lectured by police. Finally ended up in a rundown apartment where I could hear people constantly having sex. I achieved a 3.95 GPA (not weighted) and a 4.366 GPA (weighted). Will continue.....
First duty call for you is to get a job, save up and either rent or put down a deposit for your own place and peace of mind, living with your deadbeat parents (by description) you need to leave. Consider finding homeless help you might get housed then your life will begin, i am in similar predicament only not as bad as drug dealing dad , starvation etc you have every right to be depressed but it's time to act, depression is not progression and will hold you back, try and stay at friends house or sleep rough, beg borrow and steal if it means getting away from your hellish lifestyle, the time to act is better late than never. Money is your best ticket out of there, earn it, win it or look for help being depressed does'nt solve the problem, i find it hard to say that because i know how you must feel but act now or forever hold your peace. Research the options available to you depending on your country, ie join a job agency. Hope this helps
It may feel like you have no one to stand by you, but that is a lie. There is always someone who is going through a similar situation as you are and looking for the same thing. I am so sorry that this is how your life is right now. You're parents are wrong. The way they raised and treated you is wrong. And it's wrong to believe anything they tell you that is abusive. You deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you like the strong person that are. My advice to you would be to remove yourself from any abusive relationships whether verbal, physical or emotional and if that is not possible try your bet to block it out. Get involved with people in your community to find ways to spend your time and energy. I don't know if you believe in God but regardless if you do or not, he loves you more than your parents or anyone else ever will. Remember that there is something good in every day but it takes effort for you to find what it is. Happiness takes effort to achieve and maintain. With time and faith your life will turn around and you will be in a place you never thought you would be you just have to be optimistic. You have a purpose. God loves you <3
This is countinued... My father left when I turned 17. My mom kicked me out of the house 6 months later. Supposed Christians (Jehovah Witnesses took me in) All I do Is work a crappy job, study the bible, and work out. I'm very fit and muscular at 195. I am now being hated by the witnesses because they all seem to hate me too, for no reason. I have have jet black hair, hazel green eyes, and I am extremely attractive, at least that's what girls have told me, but these are the shallow pretty girls that only want sex. I am ignored everyday and hate myself, but could never kill myself, I'm just garbage, worthless, nothing. Any response would be nice and I will send you a picture if you show any concern to prove I'm not a fake person, or we could chat over Skype and you could see for yourself. I am just so depressed and am told by everyone my 'thinking is wrong'. I'm tired of crying
Hey there! :) I promise you that this will help you and I mean a lot. I am about your age, I'm sixteen. I will be seventeen on the 9th of this month. One of my ultimate birthday wishes is to help others much and help them a lot and a lot of inviduals more. I'm going to do so. I honestly have been depressed lately too , but not suicidal. But, I'm getting over my depression. I have fought for many years and things are getting better for me. Things will get better for you too. Things truly do get better. I used to starve myself too, but that's really bad. It hurts your stomach and also makes you dizzy and tired and when you starve yourself your body can use your body as food which ain't good. It will make you lose muscles and stuff like that. I been through a l and I go through long periods of crying and freaking out. I get bad migraines from crying so much. But, I'm better than the bullies that make me cry. I'm way above their level. THey got issues themselves and try to make me miserable, to feel like they are better, but in reality they aren't. They are mean bullies. Your parents are really on the wrong side of life. Doing drugs and using your body for sex isn't good. That is bad coping skills and they kept on doing negative things and that made them further and further in a black hole. Sociecty is like a black hole, a lot of stuff is negative and false that people do and stuff and believe. the more you dig in it, it is difficult to get out. Please don't follow in their footsteps. I know you been trhough a lot , but its for a reason. YOu should help others and teach them not to follow in your parents footsteps. Be a leader and succeed and others will follow you. I been through a lot. I had therapists and they acted like it was all me. They just wanted their money . I had a nice counseler before too and she helped. That is horrible for your parents starving you. My parents call me mean stuff ooon a daily basis. that's messed up that the police lectured you. My parents played the police game too before.. they told the police that I ran away, when I didn't. I had a bump on my head and the police didn't even check it out or care. It was on my forehead and small, but still. He told me I would like be arrested if I keep asking questions and don't go inside. He said I held him up from seriousstuff and was like a waste of time. People have problems themselves and it ain't your fault. A lot of people are brainwashed by society, it is really sad. Things will get better, perhaps get famous on youtube. That's what I'm going to do. By the way, my username is uniquedaydreamer1996 please check my video called haters going to hate. it is a poem\rap that I read and then tell the meaning of it. please add me on facebook facebook dot com slash omgitiskayla my name on there is kaykay kitty marie also, stay strong I'm always here for you have faith always stay strong always and be positive always. God, Jesus, and the Angels love you, seriously they sent me to help you. PLEASE ADD Orchard Homes I WANT TO HELP HELPING OTHERS HELPSS Orchard Homes K (:
I could kibd if relate to u. If u want I think its best if u email me. Icywolf1990@gmail. Com