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I don't know if Desperado Syndrome has become an accepted colloquial term yet, but if not, maybe me posting this question will help! *wry smile* I just wondered how many women (of any age), aside from myself, have had relationships with men who suffered from this syndrome? And if so, did the relationship eventually end, or did you somehow work through it successfully? And if you haven't yet figured out what I mean by Desperado Syndrome, just Google the lyrics to "Desperado", the timeless classic by The Eagles. The song will tell you everything you need to know. *sigh*
Mattew R: VERY interesting! I don't know anyone in the South so I never heard what you described, but I believe you. Society/culture can have a lot to do w/ this stuff. Heck, I should move South! ;) Mantastic -- re: your Yahoo observations (I've seen that too), most of those women are young &/or immature and don't know how to handle a serious, committed relationship, or don't have enough dating experience yet to even want one. I'm in my 30s and so are most of my single girlfriends. We're not desperate; we're just tired of the dating scene and wish to get married, rather than spend our lives alone. And we're VERY tired of all the frantic backpaddling and denial guys engage in, RIGHT when the relationship is better than ever, with a deep bond, with everyone saying how amazingly we match up, etc. etc. WHY guys get so terrified of commitment that they continually throw away the best things that ever happened to them, I'll never know! :( I just call it... The Desperado Syndrome.
Mantastic -- I appreciate what you added. :) And I mean that sincerely, as I don't do sarcasm. Anyhoo, you're right that there are SOME women who don't make an effort to help the guy believe that they're the right women, this is the right relationship, etc. However, I must beg to differ PERSONALLY. I'm very faithful, generous, tolerant, patient, intelligent, loving & open-minded. I don't prejudge or diss men due to race, religion, financial status, body type, etc. I have a great sense of humor (silly/genuine, not sarcastic or dry). I have a slim body that I keep in good shape, and am told I have unusual/pretty eyes (green) and hair (long & curly). All my family, most of my friends, & even some acquaintances have pointed out the above to me; some of which I didn't even think much about until they were pointed out. But I must say it all applies. *blush* I give my ALL to my relationships! I guess sometimes it just boils down to me having BAD LUCK w/ men, plain & simple. :(
WTF????????? Just spend about 1/2 an hour on Yahoo answers and you will clearly see IT'S THE WOMEN who are the out-of-control "desperados". LOL!!!! Here's one now . . . . "Please help me Please, I'm begging??" "OMG I really like this guy, PLEASE HEEEEELP!!!!" • "I am so confused, I don't know what to do. PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!" • "I don't get him. HEEELLLLPP WHY DOESN'T HE LIKE ME??" • "PLEASE HELP!!!!! What do guys REALLY LIKE????" • "I REALLY WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!! WHAT CAN I DO??" . . . and the list goes ON and ON. LMAO!!! :) AND P.S. -->> You will notice that not ONE woman has answered your question since you posted it 2 hours ago. :) I guess if ALOT of men out there were actually "desperados", you would have heard about it by now. --------------------------------------... You just added -->> "WHY guys get so terrified of commitment " Well I am here to tell you -->> MEN have ZERO problem with "commitment". And I will PROVE IT. MEN commit FEARLESSLY and without ANY reservation to ALL OTHER ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES. Careers. Cars. Loans. Mortgages. Business Ventures. Things they WANT to do, and things that need to get DONE. The choices they make. The risks they take. Who their friends are, and how they like to spend their free time. . . . a man will roll up their sleaves and is fully willing and capable of DECIDING, COMMITTING and signing on the dotted line and he can assume FULL CONTROL OF THE OUTCOME. They congratulate themselves for their successes, And they can assume FULL responsibility for their failures. This "fear" that women speak of . . . IS FEAR OF COMMITTING TO -->> THE WRONG WOMAN. This is something men can NOT control. NOR CAN THEY SEE IT COMING Maine ADVANCE. When it comes to relationships, men have no more than 50% control of the outcome, so with odds like that, you will understand why men DONT JUMP AT THE CHANCE. No man could ever convince you to invest ALL YOUR MONEY into a stock that has a 50% chance of crashing. So if you wouldn't do that with YOUR MONEY, how can you expect him to do that WITH HIS LIFE????? He will prefer to focus on and invest in something when HE BELIEVES there will be a REWARD for his efforts . . . and in relationships/marriages . . even the BEST husband, father and boyfriend can FAIL through no fault of his own. The only way a man will ever BELIEVE that committing to any woman is the RIGHT THING TO DO, is IF SHE MAKES AN EFFORT TO MAKE HIM BELIEVE IT. But do women DO that?? NO. They just point at "ALL" men an accuse them of not being willing or capable of commitment (like YOU just did), and they try to get away with BLAMING men for it. . . . Like its HIS fault. ALWAYS REMEMBER -->> MEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO COMMIT TO A WOMAN AUTOMATICALLY. So unless she does everything she can to make him see that she is WORTHY of a commitment . . . then she has NO BUSINESS complaining about it. Because all a woman needs to do is WANT OUT, or ask for a divorce , and its ALL OVER FOR HIM. I hope that clears it up for you. So the next time you and your girlfriends are sitting around accusing men of not being willing or capable of "commitment" . . you are now able to CORRECT THEM and tell them everything I just told you. Because NOW you know better. :)
I don't mean to be mean, but it sounds like you and your girlfriends are the ones that have "Desperado Syndrome"...I mean, you're in your 30's and all you want to do is to get married, so you're not ALONE? Careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I'm single, but keep getting men that "want the committment"! I don't want one, so I'm one of those that Mantastic is talking about. I don't have any problem getting men to go out with, and it's probably because I don't want one... Maybe you should change your approach and quit looking for the one that you'll spend the rest of your life with, and just start living... observing the ones that are probably right under your nose, but you just happen to choose the Desperado(s) of this world. I didn't mention that I was married for many years and his spending habits, lack of self-control [if he wanted he got it] left me so far in debt [split 50/50 by our lovely judicial system] that I will never depend [at least financially] on a man again.
I, sadly to say, am not gay, so I can't say that I have, but I have a few friends who suffer from Kitty disease. Now I have not seen this much outside of my homeland down south, but men down here are too ready to commit and have no self interest at all. I swear, once you cross below the Mason-Dixon line, the men become women and the women become...well, they are pretty girly too. If you don't believe me, turn on an episode of Springer every once and a while: you will see that the women up North have a hard time getting their men to come home and the women in the South can't get them to go away.