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I have a friend who is 20 she has 2 children with her boyfriend that is 19. they live in a 3 bdr home and her parents buy her EVERYTHING... they are pretty well off... 7 months ago they bought her a 2001 ford expidition for 7,000 cash..... i just wanted to give you her situation before i go on here is the thing.n She has a part time job. her boyfriend gets almost 1,000 dollars every month from SSI and he also works under the table... there house is only 800.00 a month and they still have ALOT of extra money.... and she is on WELFARE... cash aid, medi-cal, and foodstamps... and she gets WIC.... She is always comparing herself to me which drives me nuts already... she actually named her son my sons name.... she had her son first but She knew i was naming my son that... i even asked her what she was going to name her son and she said Mayson... i was like hello you know thats my name she said eyah but i like it... WHATEVER... she drives me NUTS... I live in a small two bedroom house for 630.00 a month and my utilities add up to about 200.00 my insurance is 150.00 and i have a 5 month old son a 200.00 car payment, another car that we own, my boyfriend makes 10.50 an hour, and i am NOT on welfare... and i DONT get help from my dad... her comparing herslef to me all the time is not my biggest problem... she is TOTALLY using the system and its annoying, people really need that money and her she is sitting pretty.... she would still do better then me with out the welfare... and i want to tell her that she is in the wrong, but how do i go about that with out messing up our friendship?
Shes not always an idot... we have been friend since we were 6... i kinda think that her naming her son the same name as mine and always doing what i do is a reason to stoop p being friends with her... hell she must envy me right... there are tons of people that have a person they look up to and want to be like them.... it just kinda annoys me becuase she is 20 and should be living her own life. but she is a follower not a leader....OBVIOUSLY..... i still want to be her friend,...... i just dont want her to abuse the system...
Completely understand u. I had a friend like that who was always comparing herself to me and got pregnant every time I was pregnant as if to say she had the newest newborn and take the attention from my babies. She had her house before I did and was always saying "Oh u and ur lil apt. why don't u buy ur house already?" I would just say I wasn't ready and wasn't gona get myself into something I wasn't ready for just to say I had my house. Now that I do have my house it is in a better neighborhood than hers and fits our needs better than hers does for her... and she sees that waiting got my family in a better place and now DOESN't have anything to say. FOR A TIME I STOPPED TALKING TO HER because of how she was with me. Then slowly she noticed i wasn't gona keep on being her friend if she DIDN't ACT LIKE ONE. Some things are hard to ignore and if she doesn't change her ways u don't need her. U will do better moving on.
The fact that she would obviously steal a name she knew was the chosen name for your son tells you it all - she is not a friend. People (commonly people on benefits) say you should not "shop a benefits cheat" but think about it, YOU are paying for them. What they're actually saying is "let me claim YOUR taxes and don't complain about it, run along to work, and I shall sit at home and do nothing". So ring in, and shop them, anonymously. You are doing the best by your son, showing him that hard work and sticking to a budget can pay off - she is breeding the next generation of benefit scroungers (well mummy just lied and got money). Do the right thing. x
Oh, I hear you!! That is outrageous! I'm not you and that made me mad reading it. She is getting a free ride for sure. The only advice I can give you is just the peace of mind knowing you're a better person. Really you are. You're not using anyone. I have nothing against anyone getting help when they need it, but if someone else is already paying for everything for them why is so much help needed? It's just wrong. I see why you're frustrated. I have a cousin very much like that. Who is always comparing herself to me. I hate it more than anything in the world. She is one of those people that if you tell her she is wrong she just doesn't hear it. Good luck.
First of all- Put it like this: Your husband, who is a hardworking man is PAYING for YOUR friend to live OFF he GOVERMENT!!!!!!!! Its not RIGHT. You for sure, need to turn her in. Its not fair that people who are just trying to get by, who are hardworking people, are having to pay for other people who are lazy and want to cheat the system. Its a crying shame that people WHO REALLY TRULY need goverment assistance cannot get it because of people like her. Another thing is- She doesnt sound like a friend if she is always "comparing" her things to yours, if she named her son what you had told her you were naming hers, etc.....Thats NOT a true friend. You should have a civil adult talk with her and tell her you really value her friendship but you feel a little insulted by all her remarks she has made....But, you really probably shouldnt say anything to her about the welfare if you really still want to be her friend like you say you do. But, if you are really offended by her cheating the goverment either talk with her or turn her in.
GO TELL THE New Mexico FAX PEOPLE IF I WAS YOU I WOULD .... I HAVE 3 CHILD'S DON'T WORK ONLY MY HUBBY DOES MAKING 7.50 HR AND WE STILL HAVE TROUBLES ... WE HAVE WELCARE ON ALL THREE THANK HEAVEN WE WERE ABLE TO IT ... AND WE HAVE FOOD STAMPS AND THEY ARE GONNA GET CUT THEN WE CAN FEED OUR KIDS ... AND THEY HAVE WIC BUT, MY OLDEST AIN'T GONNA HAVE IT ANYMORE COME JULY HE'LL BE 5 ... BUT WE HAVE A LOT OF OTHER BILLS THAT WE HAVE BEEN PAST DUE AND ETC .... THE GOOD THING IS THAT WE LIVE New Mexico HUD APTS IM SO HAPPY THAT WE GOT THE APT BECAUSE WE WERE ALL LIVING A MINI VAN .... IT WAS NOT FUN AT ALL NO ROOM NO PRIVACY ... I HATED IT ... TELL THAT GIRL TO STOP THAT YOU ARE 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE ...
Its not really your place to say anything. Yes, she sounds annoying, but I think the best thing is to just ignore her. She's not going to change her ways just because you don't agree with her lifestyle and it'll likely ruin your (already strained) friendship. I just wouldn't hang out with her anymore, don't let it get to you. I have a friend who annoys me in other ways. She has a 1 year old, and lives with her babies father (and is romantically involved with him...at least he thinks so and their families think so) but then she has a new guy "on the side" like every week it seems. And she's always telling me "I think this is the one", but she won't leave her childs father because he supports her. Its super annoying to me, and she exposes her daughter to all these guys too. I don't respect it though, so I just avoid her most of the time because I don't want to hear it.
Hmm, well OBVIOUSLY you seem to be the leader, so take charge, be the Alpha female, stand your ground! I would be extremly pissed off if my friend took my son-to-be's name! So what i say, is you should invite her to dinner, make a crappy meal make her eat it, maybe she'll get food poisioning for a couplde days, phone her and be like "Foo, Do you really wanna be like me! THINK NOT! BU BYEE B****" ... but thats just me ^^ Muajajaj Good Luck.
I don't think that you can say anything to her without putting the friendship on rocks. I have a few friends that are the same way, we jsut stay away from the topics because it always turns into an arguement.
If you don't want her to abuse the system, contact welfare or whoever you have to contact. Honestly, this bothers me as I have students who do the same thing and I just can't believe their laziness. You should totally report her and stop being her friend, what a waste.
She doesn't sound like much of a friend. I would be livid if one of my friend's named their daughter the name I had already chosen for my daughter. If she annoys you that much just don't bother with her anymore. But if you want to remain friends with her just tell her the truth but she probably wont like it but there is nothing else you can did if you need to get it of your chest. Good Luck!